Five Things Parents Don't Want You to Give Their Kids For Christmas. Seriously.

So a large part of my existence in the past week or so has been devoted to the Christmas thing. No, I am not listening to Christmas music yet. Unless you count Little singing Go Tell It On The Mountain four hundred and fifty million times as "listening to Christmas music". I swear my listening was voluntary like five times. Now it is like a pantyhose death roll. It starts and you can't really react negatively, so you just go with it until it's over and then try to move on. Now don't get me wrong. I love the song and I love Little more than words. The point is she only knows the first verse and that's a lot of  "Over the hills and everywhere-ERE!"

Ok, back to the point. So I have been planning ahead for S-A-N-T-A and trying to get the best deals blah blah blah. Little is no problem she is at the age where everything is really cool and she tells you what she likes and doesn't like. Tiny is a wee but more difficult compounded by her birthday being less then two months before Christmas. I am working through it but on one of my nightly searches for THE BEST TODDLER GIFTS THIS CHRISTMAS I also was seeing lists about the worst gifts for children. I started to think...hmmmmm what are some of the things I dread seeing under the tree for the girls. What wonderful torturous things have my parents bought this year....

Which brings us to NUMBER ONE ~ Playdough. There are already little tiny bits of this horrible substance stuck in Little's carpet after nap time turned into art project time one afternoon without my knowledge. (Male Cruiser this is your greatest offense. Well this AND the pink riffle.)

Little squishy rainbow of doom.

NUMBER TWO~ A Bad Case of Stripes By David Shannon. I read the reviews on Amazon for this book. People are claiming this book continues to give their children nightmares months and even years after the book was read to them. Even the cover is a little scary. PLEASE don't give my kids anything that will make them sleep LESS. If anything I need them to increase the time they sleep. Thank you.

Oy.

NUMBER THREE~ Bambi. Now available on Disney Blue-ray and DVD. The mom DIES. ugh.

How-to for hunters

NUMBER FOUR~ Lite Brite or any other age inappropriate toy with teeny tiny parts that I will have to keep up on top of my fridge or in a locked safe. I don't want to loose pieces and then wonder why the baby is pooping in Technicolor.

If your poo looks like this..see a doctor.

NUMBER FIVE~ Any Doll that looks like a Hoochie. Seriously trying to raise some ladies here people. I let Little play with Barbie and Princesses but I do try my darnedest to make sure that they keep their hind ends covered. I also try to choose dolls that aren't wearing too much makeup. I know that they will be exposed to all of these things in the general public but I do monitor things in my own home. I even object to some Tinkerbell toys even though we love her. Bottom line, Tink can be kinda a Ho. So please take two good looks before buying my kid the streetwalker fashion play set with bonus crack rocks.

Yep.Hoochie.

So...that's it. Again, I try to keep my negatives to 5 or less.

My children are so blessed to have so many people who provide so much for them. This post is just to give The Male Cruiser a hard time. (and BTW he is the BEST at Christmas gifts) Weedle weedle!

Over the Hills and...

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